I’m Dreaming of a Blue Christmas…Not…

Seems everywhere I turn…someone is playing Christmas music…well…it is the season…but lots of it is just plain tragic…love gone bad…mama going to meet Jesus…it makes me sad to listen to it…so…unless forced to…tied…gagged and bound…I don’t…I have changed radio stations in the past because they only played Christmas music seemingly from Labor Day through New Year’s…
Personally…I like the happy songs…the ones that make you feel good all over…like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer…now who wouldn’t feel good while listening to that…my whole family loves it…even Grandma…
Some of my other funny favs include…
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas…hello…Hippo Hero…glad you’re a vegetarian…
The Chimney Song…there’s something stuck up in the chimney…and I don’t know what it is…makes me glad I don’t have a fireplace…
The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen…now…I can’t sit in comfort and joy…love the play on words…who thinks up these songs…oh…Bob Rivers…
Santa Claus in Watching You…remember when Clyde the camel replaced Rudolph who dislocated his hip in a twist contest…
I know…I know…I’m weird…but…to me…sad Christmas music is like somebody telling me that I’ve gained weight…and we all know how that feels…okay…some of you don’t know…so let me just tell you…it feels crummy…I am aware of the weight…hello…I have a mirror…
Same difference with the songs…I’m aware of all the sad things that happen around Christmas…people who are lonely…people who are sad over the loss of a loved one…I don’t want to be reminded of it in my songs…
I want peace on earth…good will to men and women…I want hope…and love…and a warm fuzzy feeling…
Somehow…crazy mixed up Christmas songs do that for me…but…even them in small doses…
Bertha says that’s a part of living my truth…finding what makes me happy and embracing it…finding what makes me sad…and letting it go…whether it’s thoughts or music…it really doesn’t matter…
So…I listen to a station that plays the occasional Christmas song…and if it’s one that brings blue thoughts…I turn down the volume…easy peasy…
Jane

Ghosts of Mistakes Past…

Just when I think I may have it all together…may have laid the ghosts of mistakes past to rest…they come back to haunt me…I was journaling about this over the weekend…you know the stuff that I write that you aren’t supposed to read…and yet…sometimes you peek in anyway…funny how that happens
I know I’ve mentioned this before…but for me…writing is the way that I work things out…it’s like I write until I finally hear myself…or the voice of Bertha…and this was no exception…the funny thing is…I didn’t want to explore this situation…I was antsy…and I kept doing all kinds of goofy things…like reading someone else’s blog…not nearly as good as mine…but I digress…checking e-mail…turning the heater on and off…lighting a candle…blowing it out…
You get the picture…I was avoiding myself…but…my heart kept saying…write…listen…write…listen…and so finally…I did…I’m sharing this with you…becauseBertha told me to
This is a clip from the middle of the writing…it took me awhile and some pretty boring stuff to get there…but…that’s how the process works…here goes…
I said…
I know…I’m on a path…and I am taking the steps…availing myself of the opportunities that are coming to me…and yet…I am becoming more insecure as I walk along…
Bertha replied…
That means that you have found the place that wants to be healed…it doesn’t mean that you have done anything wrong…or that you are in the wrong place…it is part of the path…to clear the debris out of the way…there are logs and branches and leaves that have long been blocking your path…
By walking your path again…you have exposed these obstacles at a time when you are ready…and able to heal them…to change the energy…to build a fire with the old wood…it will burn very quickly now…
You have been seeing this as a negative…and it isn’t…it is a positive…you are now able to remove the logs…to remove the branches…to remove the damp leaves…to clear the path…and now…you will be successful at this…
Do a visualization…see yourself walking the path…see yourself removing the logs…sticks…branches…and leaves…build a huge brush fire…and watch them burn into nothing…the ash that is left will nourish the soil…
I have to tell you that I did the visualization last night…and it was powerful…
This morning…Bertha reminded of my walk in the park yesterday…and how the path was strewn with acorns…leaves…twigs…sticks…and that if I had cleaned them all away…some new ones would fall…not all at once…but bit by bit…
She says this is how it is in my life…it’s not like I can clear the path and it will always stay clear…new things will come up…I’ll need to clear again…and again…and that’s okay…that’s the way it is supposed to be…or the leaves wouldn’t fall…
Jane