One Man’s Difficult…

Someone…recently described me as…difficult…my first response was…to think of all the ways that my…difficultness…had been warranted…of all the ways…that I was…right…and they were…wrong…to perpetuate myself…as the victim…of unjust criticism…

Of course…Bertha…only let me wallow in those sentiments…for a few minutes…before…she pointed out the obvious…I was difficult…at least from…the other person’s perspective

Yikes…she was right…I was…although…I prefer to think of it as…determined…that sounds more…genteel…kind of like saying women…dew…instead of perspirealthough…they still smell like sweat at the end of the day…

Anyway…regardless of whether I was difficult or determined…she was actually proud of me…for taking a stand…for setting a boundary…for believing in my worth…for…not backing down…

And…I have to admit…these are not easy things for me to do…it’s much easier…just to go with someone else’s flow…and…say…whatever…so…that no one…refers to me as…difficult…I am a people pleaser…after all…

But…Bertha…says I have to let go of other people’s opinion of me…let go of the expectation…that…everyone…is going to…or…should…agree with me…like me…

Hmmm…not easy for a people pleaser…or a reforming people pleaser…as I hope I am

But…Bertha…promises…that as I let other people’s opinions go…and…live from my heart…that…real movement will take place in my life…movement…that will take me to the places that I want to go…

And…she says…it really isn’t…difficult

Jane

Players…

For several years…I’ve had a little gadget on my desk…the base is a magnet…and it had ten little metal men…which are clips…that could be arranged in multiple ways…I’m sure it’s meant to be…a…stress reliever…

At first…I kept it over to the side…accessible only to me…and…every so often…but not very…I would play with them…

Until…

One day…I moved it to the other side of the desk…and…very interested children…started to play with it…and…what I noticed was…it kept their attention…as they were waiting for medicine…or a band aid…they were totally mesmerized…by the magnet…and…the ten little men…

And…then…just like the…little Indian song…there were…nine…and…eight…and…seven…

Until…there were…six…

A student recently observed…that someone had been…stealing…my little men…as she played with them…between inhaler puffs…implying that I should do something…to…prevent it from happening…

Thankfully…Bertha…had gone to work with me that day…and…she explained…that…yes…having the little men accessible…put them at risk…but…that when they were out of harm’s way…so to speak…there was…no pleasure…no one enjoyed them…and…that it was worth the risk…of losing them…for all the pleasure they brought…

Her answer seemed to satisfy the student…who returned to class…leaving me to…contemplate…the message…thatBertha…was actually giving me…

And…it came out as this…

Sometimes in life…playing it safe…isn’t playing…at all…

Hmmm…

Jane