Bertha’s Theory of Relativity…


Bertha…has told me before…but…she’s telling me again…everything is relative…

I’ve probably been aware of this on some level all of my life…but…evidently I didn’t quite comprehend…because she has hitting me over the head with it…I mean…showing me hints about it…for several days…

Her first hint had to do with weight…what can I say…I’ve gained it over the last couple of years…today when I stepped on the scale I saw a number that horrified me when I was on the…weigh up…but now delighted me on the…weigh down…funny thing is…although it is the exact same number…on the way up…I felt out of control and ashamed…on the way down…I feel in control…I feel good about myself…I feel more attractive…FYI…I am resisting the urge to wear Bertha’s tank top and spandex capris…but…and it’s a big…butt…it’s the exact same number…

Next she brought up finances…asking how I would feel if I had $10K in the bank…well…personally…I’d be doing the happy dance all over the mall…on the other hand…if say…the Donald opened his bank statement to find a mere $10K listed…heads would roll…he’d be essentially broke…and yet…it’s the same number…

What about a consistent…C…student…if they brought home a…B…on their report card…everyone in the family would celebrate…on the other hand…if the student who always made…A’s…brought home the same…B…there would probably be consequences…no one would be happy…but…it’s the same grade…

Her examples…continue to grow everyday…reminding me about book sales…rankings…review stars…starting back to work after having the summer off…I think it’s sinking in…

My feast is another’s famine…my famine is another’s feast…it’s best just to eat what’s on my table and not worry about theirs…

Hmmm…

Jane

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