I Like Big Bottom Lines…I Cannot Lie…


I was talking with a friend this weekend…about relationships…their sentiment being…that there’s always a bottom line…a low point…an invisible line…that once it’s crossed…there’s no going back…unfortunately…it’s not something that can be articulated to the other person…ahead of time…

Well…you know me…I’ve contemplated that a lot since then…and…I can appreciate the truth to it…I’ve always thought of it as a door…that once closed couldn’t be reopened…but…I don’t think the image is as important as the concept…

In looking back to the times that I chose to end a relationship…I can see…there was always a decisive moment…when things could have gone either way…one action…one word…could have spared the relationship…but…left undone…left unspoken…there was no going back…even if the relationship continued for a time…it was empty…null…void…

Interestingly…I couldn’t have told you ahead of time…what that moment would be…maybe it’s the realization that things will never change…maybe it’s realizing that staying in the relationship is more painful than living without it…I’m sure that if I contemplate it long enough…I can find the common denominator…that elusive feeling that I can’t yet describe…

Bertha…was eavesdropping on the conversation…and my contemplation…she later told me that the bottom line…applies to much more than intimate relationships…it applies to my whole life…

She reminds me of jobs I have left…after being unhappy for some time…and not taking action…one day…it was just over…the thought of staying in the job was more painful than looking for a new one…and I started looking…

Then…there is my body…she reminds me of the events of the summer…when I realized that it was more painful to continue to seek comfort in food…than to create a healthier lifestyle…including releasing those foods…

And…she’s right…even though I wasn’t totally aware that the line had been drawn…that it was being crossed at the time…once it was…there was never a doubt…and…no going back…

Jane

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