A Book is Born…

Yesterday was a cool day…or should I say…date…7/6/13…Bertha…immediately saw that as…7+6=13…and told me that great things would happen…because it was…all lined up

And…as always…she was right…

I got an email from my publisher around noon…Becoming Bertha…would be live on Amazon within twelve hours…OMG…what to do…circle the wagons…boil water…what…

Well…of course I didn’t do either of those things…there wasn’t time…I had to…post it on Facebook…send out a Tweet…and…write the book description for Amazon…

Yeah…I know…I submitted the manuscript in February…I’ve been doing final edits all week…you would think…I would have thought about needing a book synopsis…before now…but…alas…

Bertha…says it reminds her of the birth of my first daughter…about a week before her due date…I developed an amniotic leak…the doctor told me to come to the hospital the next morning…and…we’d have a baby…leaving his office…it struck me…I was having a baby…now…you’d think that the 60 extra pounds I was carrying…might have clued me in before now…but it didn’t…suddenly…I realized…that by the next day…I would be a…mother…life as I knew it…would no longer exist…well…I didn’t have long to ponder that…because…she didn’t follow doctor’s orders…and arrived well before daylight…

And…yes…it was much the same feeling…of knowing something is going to happen…but not truly comprehending it…until…the last minute…and then…kind of panicking…

Well…Becoming Bertha…like my daughter…didn’t wait the full time…and…she went live after about six hours…the synopsis was written and posted…and…I was floating on cloud nine…

Like any proud Mama…I do want to say a little about…Becoming Bertha…here’s a descriptive blurb…

It’s truly a book of personal transformation of the narrator Honey. Spurred by the zany antics of Bertha, Honey is on a mission of sorts…to forget who she was and become who she is. Of course it’s filled with flashy wardrobes, flawless mani-pedis, a worrisome cat, and Bertha’s signature high-heels. A lot of fun and growth all rolled into one engaging read!

This book…is more autobiographical for me than…Bertha-Size Your Life!…when I wrote…Bertha-Size…people were always asking me…what would Bertha do about this…and…I’d write a story for that…as well as the lessons I was learning…

The stories in…Becoming Bertha…are mostly personal lessons…that took place over an eight year period…following the release of…Bertha-Size…I started writing immediately…thought I’d have a sequel within the year…but…I wasn’t ready…hadn’t learned the lessons…so…how could I write them…

Today…I hope that you will join me…in…Becoming Bertha

Jane

Rumor Has It…

There’s a nasty rumor circulating about…Bertha…somehow…it got started…and I don’t know how…well…maybe I told a few people…but…only my closest friends…and everyone on Twitter and Facebook

Anyway…it’s going around…that…Bertha…is…cheap…and…she has taken offense…

Now…in my defense…not that it matters…I don’t think I’ll get a fair trial…and I’m not sure I have any peers…but I digress

I did not mean…cheap…in the…tawdry…sense…and…did I ever call her that…

No…

Although…she is rather flashy and flamboyant…and insists on the highest heels and stretchiest spandex…I never once questioned her morals…in fact…I have to say…she’s got an excellent value system underneath all that…gaudy exterior…and…she’s one smart kooky…on top of it all…

My intent…was merely to let everyone know…that…they could get to know…Bertha…for only 99 cents…until June 9th…

I suppose I should have been more careful in my wording…but…honestly…99 cents…for all of…Bertha’s…wit and wisdom…is pretty dog gone…cheap

Ooops…I said it again…and she’s giving me the eye and climbing on a soapbox…

She says…this whole situation reminds her of my life…and…rumors in general…there’s usually a grain of truth to what is being spread…but…somehow…either on accident or on purpose…it all gets misconstrued…

So…for the record…

Bertha…is not a floosy…is not tawdry…but…she is…cheap

That’s my story…and…I’m sticking to it…

Jane

PS…if you have a Kindle…and don’t have a copy of…Bertha-Size Your Life!…now would be a great time to get one…and…send a copy to all of your friends…then you can laugh together…