Ghostly Gifts…

This morning…Bertha…is whispering…forgiveness…and…honestly…I didn’tJane Carroll realize I was angry with anyone…but…she says that forgiveness isn’t only about…anger

Rather…she says…it’s more about…releasing my expectations…that something should have been different…

She says…it’s about letting go of my need to be…right…and that doesn’t just mean in an argument…no…not at all…it has to do with me thinking I have things figured out…only to have them turn out totally different than I had planned…

Hmmm…some things from my past start floating by…like Halloween ghosts on parade…and I realize that even though…I’m not angry…at least not anymore…I haven’t fully let them go either…I still get a little sting each time I remember them…

So…how do I do this…

Bertha…says to look for and appreciate the gift that each situation brought into my life…and that once I appreciate the gift…I can let go of the event itself…then I won’t feel the sting…because…all is forgiven…

Hmmm…looks like I may be getting lots of…gifts…today…who knew…

Jane

Wave Crashers…

I’ve been feeling tumultuous lately…not quite being able to settle down fromJane Carroll one surge of emotions…before…the next one comes crashing through…

I find that frustrating…I mean…I’ve been doing my spiritual practices…without fail…prayer…meditation…affirmation…contemplation…forgiveness…I’ve done them all…and…yet…the emotional waves keep coming…

What am I doing wrong…

Bertha…assures me…I’m doing nothing wrong…in fact…I’m doing everything right…she says during times of growth…that strong emotions will surface…be exposed for work and healing…but once they are healed…the next wave is ready to peak…

She says…that without the practices that I do…I wouldn’t be seeing a series of waves…that it would be more like a tsunami…

I hadn’t thought of it in those terms…hadn’t thought of this as a time of rapid growth…I remember now…thinking this summer would be a time of learning and growth…I embraced that…I welcomed it…

Be careful what you ask forBertha…chides…

And…she’s right…I have gotten exactly what I had asked for…just not the way I thought it would be…I thought it would be the equivalent of sitting on the mountain top…not lying on the beach with the surf pounding me…

So…for autumn…I’m thinking…I’ll be more selective…smooth sailing…with gentle breezes…I think I’ve grown and learned enough for a while…

Hmmm…I wonder how that will play out…

Jane