Wave Crashers…

I’ve been feeling tumultuous lately…not quite being able to settle down fromJane Carroll one surge of emotions…before…the next one comes crashing through…

I find that frustrating…I mean…I’ve been doing my spiritual practices…without fail…prayer…meditation…affirmation…contemplation…forgiveness…I’ve done them all…and…yet…the emotional waves keep coming…

What am I doing wrong…

Bertha…assures me…I’m doing nothing wrong…in fact…I’m doing everything right…she says during times of growth…that strong emotions will surface…be exposed for work and healing…but once they are healed…the next wave is ready to peak…

She says…that without the practices that I do…I wouldn’t be seeing a series of waves…that it would be more like a tsunami…

I hadn’t thought of it in those terms…hadn’t thought of this as a time of rapid growth…I remember now…thinking this summer would be a time of learning and growth…I embraced that…I welcomed it…

Be careful what you ask forBertha…chides…

And…she’s right…I have gotten exactly what I had asked for…just not the way I thought it would be…I thought it would be the equivalent of sitting on the mountain top…not lying on the beach with the surf pounding me…

So…for autumn…I’m thinking…I’ll be more selective…smooth sailing…with gentle breezes…I think I’ve grown and learned enough for a while…

Hmmm…I wonder how that will play out…

Jane

Banking on Trees…

As long as I’ve lived in this house…I have bemoaned the steep embankment that is my backyard…I’ve had some landscape work…doing my best to pretty it up…but…the fact remains…I have an incredibly small backyard…and it is essentially unusable…

So…lately…I’ve been entertaining the idea of a man with a bobcat…leveling out the bank…then…a retaining wall…and…viola…a backyard to enjoy…

And…I was all set to do it…in fact…the only thing holding me back was that I didn’t have the money…until…Bertha…had evidently had enough…so she pointed to the trees that are just beyond the privacy fence at the top of the embankment…and asked me just exactly where I thought their roots were…

Hmmm…down my embankment…

And…what would happen if I destroyed all the roots to the trees…

Ummm…the trees would fall on my house…

Then what…

My birds and squirrels wouldn’t have anywhere to nest…

And…what is my favorite part of the backyard…

Honestly…those trees…that don’t belong to me…whose roots are in my bank…and the wildlife that they offer a home to…

Okay…I’m sure you get the gist…even if I had the money…the embankment is staying…

Of course…Bertha…didn’t stop there…she had say that it reminded her of my life…and…how…sometimes…my least favorite things actually support my favorite things…

And…she’s right…again

Jane