Cinderella… Is That You?

Cute curly little girl playing Cinderella fairy tale holding a magic wand next to a pumpkin carriage having fun in an autumn park at Halloween

Are you living the life of Cinderella… before the ball?

Huh?

Okay… I’ll explain. Before the ball, Cinderella never said NO. Always did what she was told or what was expected of her. She dreamed that her life could be different… but never really did anything to change it. She actually was the heiress to her father’s estate and yet she lived as a servant and a pauper. She really didn’t believe in herself… she was stuck in the old… I’m Not Enough Syndrome.

Essentially, Cinderella was a people pleaser… just like I was… and just like many of you are. The only difference is… she had a fairy godmother.

But interestingly enough, her fairy godmother did nothing to change Cinderella. She only changed her beliefs about herself. For the first time, Cinderella believed she was a true princess and she became the part… she became ENOUGH in her own mind. Which was wonderful… until the clock struck twelve… and it all went away… Cinderella and her newfound beliefs all became proverbial pumpkins.

Of course you know the end of the story… Cinderella left a glass slipper at the ball and the Prince used it to search for her… somehow he knew that only his princess would have a foot tiny enough for it to fit… and Cinderella had just enough moxie left to step up and produce the other shoe after her ugly stepsister broke the one the prince brought along.

And… they lived happily ever after.

So let me tell you what’s going on if you are living the life of pre-ball Cinderella. It’s not what you are doing for other people that is getting to you… it’s your underlying, subconscious beliefs that are causing the problems. And… specifically it’s the anger, fear, frustration, guilt, despair and a host of other unpleasant emotions which those beliefs trigger to keep you behaving in a way to protect yourself.

Jane

Oh… I forgot to mention… you can change your life… without a fairy godmother or a magic wand… and that’s the real magic! CLICK HERE to request a complimentary magic-wand session with Bertha and me.

The Chicken or the Truth…

Jane CarrollBertha…and I have been talking about…beliefs…well…Bertha…was talking and I was listening…anyway…basically she was saying that just because I have a…belief…and just because…I can look around and see evidence that the belief is…true…that doesn’t make it…part of my truth

No…not at all…

Let’s say I have a belief that every time I wear a red dress…I spill something on it…and…there have been a few times when this actually happened…so…I know it is true…

What happens is that I will naturally start to avoid wearing a red dress…I mean…who wants to spill something on herself…so…I no longer buy red dresses…

But…what if I also occasionally spill something on myself when I wear a blue dress…and a green dress…and a yellow dress…and…well…you get the picture…

My truth is…regardless of the color I am wearing…I occasionally spill things…most people do…but…for some reason…maybe I got fussed at as a child when I spilled something on my red dress…and I got really self-conscious every time I wore red…afraid I would spill something…and…maybe that anxiety that I felt…made my hand shake just a little…just enough to spill something…on…you guessed it…my red dress…

So…I just proved that my belief is true…I spilled something on my red dress…

Bertha…says I can hold that belief…and avoid red…even though it might be my favorite color…for the rest of my life…in hopes of keeping my clumsiness at bay…

Or…

I can take the belief apart…I can ask myself…is it really true…have I spilled something on myself…every time…I’ve worn red…and at first the answer may be…yes…but if I look back…and really want to see the truth…I will remember times that I didn’t…

I can ask…do I spill things when I wear other colors…

Then…instead of forming a new belief that I’m just clumsy and shouldn’t be allowed out in public…I can be gentle with myself…practice forgiveness…I can also put my focus on all the millions of times I’ve not spilled anything…

And now to answer the question…which came first…I’d love to hear your answers in the comments…and please take time to check the little box to sign up for the newsletter when you do…

Jane

Coaching with Jane Carroll and BerthaNeed help taking apart your beliefs? Bertha and I are just a coaching call away! Send us an email janecarrollauthor@charter.net