Setting the Table…

Tomorrow would have been my Granny’s birthday…she was born in 1895…and married on her birthday in 1914…she died shortly after her birthday in 1992…

She was a wise woman…and often shared her wisdom with me…and…even though I generally rolled my eyes and tried not to giggle…I usually listened…

One of her best pieces of advice was…

If you can’t be the tablecloth…don’t be the dishrag…

At the time…she was referring to relationships…and…although she never explained further…I knew what she meant

Today…Bertha…is expanding that advice…to far more than what not to do in the backseat of a parked car…rather…she is telling me…that…Granny…in her wisdom…was teaching me…to always…respect…myself…and…put forth my best effort…whether I am at work…or play…with another…or alone…

Then…she says…I will always be…a tablecloth…

Jane

PS…thank you Granny…not sure I’m a tablecloth…but…I’m a pretty good placemat…

One Man’s Difficult…

Someone…recently described me as…difficult…my first response was…to think of all the ways that my…difficultness…had been warranted…of all the ways…that I was…right…and they were…wrong…to perpetuate myself…as the victim…of unjust criticism…

Of course…Bertha…only let me wallow in those sentiments…for a few minutes…before…she pointed out the obvious…I was difficult…at least from…the other person’s perspective

Yikes…she was right…I was…although…I prefer to think of it as…determined…that sounds more…genteel…kind of like saying women…dew…instead of perspirealthough…they still smell like sweat at the end of the day…

Anyway…regardless of whether I was difficult or determined…she was actually proud of me…for taking a stand…for setting a boundary…for believing in my worth…for…not backing down…

And…I have to admit…these are not easy things for me to do…it’s much easier…just to go with someone else’s flow…and…say…whatever…so…that no one…refers to me as…difficult…I am a people pleaser…after all…

But…Bertha…says I have to let go of other people’s opinion of me…let go of the expectation…that…everyone…is going to…or…should…agree with me…like me…

Hmmm…not easy for a people pleaser…or a reforming people pleaser…as I hope I am

But…Bertha…promises…that as I let other people’s opinions go…and…live from my heart…that…real movement will take place in my life…movement…that will take me to the places that I want to go…

And…she says…it really isn’t…difficult

Jane