Waiting for What Is…

Today…I go for my annual MRI…and to see my neurosurgeon…I feel better than I felt…this time last year…I have every reason to believe that I will get a good report…

And…yet…

I’m pensive…could I be wrong…

Bertha…says…of course I could be…but…she also says…it’s wasted energy to focus on the…what ifs…when…I’ll know soon enough…what is

She says it applies to all areas of my life…not just…Chiari check-ups…

Jane

Becoming…

I love the still of the morning…before…the world…is awake…

For me…it’s a time of…no demands…the phone isn’t going to ring…there’s no one to ask me to do anything…even the house feels silent…not demanding that I clean…or repair…just letting me be…

So…I step outside…

Where there’s something magical…about the early morning sky…twixt…night and day…as the clouds turn pink from the sun’s arrival…yet the moon…still rules the sky…making it…neither…night…nor…day…

Bertha…says…it reminds her of my life…of transitions…in particular…of those times…that…I am neither…here…nor…there…but…rather…in a place of…becoming

I have to say…that I have traditionally found…this place…to be uncomfortable…unlike the sun and the moon…that appear to savor the beauty of the moment…I’ve wanted to rush through the process…getting to…there…as quickly as possible…but…missing…the beauty…of…becoming

So…now…as I drink my coffee…I contemplate…the silence…the beauty…the becoming…and…I have to agree…it’s a lovely place to be…

Jane