My Boots Don’t Scoot…and…My Butt Don’t Boogie…


I have a lot of talents…well…okay…a few…geez…you are so critical sometimes…I’ll rephrase…
I have maybe two talents…dancing isn’t one of them…especially anything choreographed…a couple of years ago…I failed Community Education Line Dancing…well…I technically…I didn’t fail…I withdrew after the third class…three nights of trying to count…scoot…boogie…in the same direction as twenty other people…was enough to give me an anxiety attack…
My line dancing fiasco really didn’t come a surprise to me…I’ve never been able to dance…the only thing that saved me as a teenager…was the fact that we all just did some strange gyrations…and called it doing the Freddie…or the Swim…and of course there was what we called Slow Dancing…which was really just hugging and swaying…I could do that…I even enjoyed that…hmmm…
Thankfully…they hadn’t flipped the switch for the Electric Slide…and there was no Macarena back then…the humiliation would have been too much for this coordination challenged adolescent to handle…
The fact that I would never partner with the likes of Gene or Fred on the dance floor has never really bothered me…I’ve never aspired to be on Dancing with the Stars…I don’t dance in front of others…I’m content to dance for my own entertainment and exercise in the privacy of my own home…
I’m not a dancer…I accept my limitations…and…yet…imagine my chagrin…when I discovered…that…even the Geico Gecko is a better dancer than me…that’s right…
I was minding my own business…watching a bit of TV…and there he was…on a commercial…booting and scooting with the best of them…
I have to admit…it did something to my pride to be shown up by an animated lizard selling insurance…
It’s okay…I’m dealing with it…I can handle it…dancing isn’t my thing…but…if that little chameleon starts writing a blog…and it’s better than mine…I’ll sick Bertha on him…just saying…
Jane

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