Of Lies and Casseroles…


Oh what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive—Sir Walter Scott
Bertha and I are still discussing living our truth…and how that affects our life…so opportunities to learn more and go deeper keep showing up.
I recently read that any time we tell a lie…no matter how teeny, tiny…white…or innocent it seems…that we are manipulating the other person…
I argued with it…don’t remember where I read it…but I do remember arguing with it…it of course won…with Bertha’s help…the argument went something like this…
Me…I don’t tell big lies…(it’s true…I don’t)…and I only tell the itty-bitty ones because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings…
Bertha…why don’t you want to hurt their feelings…
Me…well…they’re my friends…I don’t want to make them feel bad…they might get mad at me…they might not like me anymore…or…I’m embarrassed about something I did…they might think I’m foolish…they might not like me anymore…
Bertha…and…don’t you see that is actually manipulating them…only saying things you think they want to hear…so they will like you…
Me…OMG…you’re right…I’m not only a liar…I’m a manipulator…
Bertha…let’s don’t get carried away…let’s just say you were misguided…
Me…exhale…(I’ve been waiting to do that)…
Bertha went on to talk hypothetically about having lunch at a friend’s…and trying out her newest recipe…which is totally unpalatable…but when she asks how it is…saying it’s…tasty…delicious…yummo…thinking I’ve spared her feelings…she still likes me…she’ll have me over for lunch again…
And she does…but she always serves that same dish…because she thinks it is my favorite…then I would start making excuses not to go…and that might hurt her feelings…and she might not have me over for lunch again…
Bertha also points out…that it could also go another way…she could take my approval as the go ahead to make the dish for someone else…thinking mother-in-law…garden club…potluck…eventually…somebody’s gonna tell her the truth…she’ll be humiliated…and she’ll know I lied…and probably won’t like me so much…probably won’t have me over for lunch again…hmmm…
So…Bertha and I are still trashing out living our truth…and being our authentic self…there seem to be a lot of layers…like peeling an artichoke…spiny leaves on the outside…followed by a big hairy mess…until finally…if you keep peeling…you reach the sweet heart of the matter…
I’ll take mine with butter…lemon…and just a hint of garlic…would you like the recipe…maybe I’ll ask you for lunch…
Jane

2 thoughts on “Of Lies and Casseroles…

  1. That reminds me of one time when the children and I went to a relative’s home to eat dinner. The cook asked me if I liked a new dish that she had made. I didn’t want to tell her the truth because she had gone to a lot of trouble cooking it and seem to think it was delicious. I went, “uh… well… sorta… uh…I… uh”. My son who was 4 didn’t hesitate. He blurted out, “baaaad!” I was so embarrassed.

    She was really a terrific cook tho, with just about every thing she made.

    • Oh…Mary…Don’t you love the honesty of children…we should take a lesson…maybe a little more tact…but a lesson all the same! My experience was at my Grandmother’s…she made this horrible soup…and my sister and I told her we liked it…so she froze it…and gave it to us every time we went there for what seemed like months! Like your friend…she was usually a great cook! 😉

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