What’s in Your Cart…

Yesterday was errand day…and not just regular errands around my hometown…I had to go to Decatur for some things that I don’t ordinarily buy…

As I was stowing my rather unusual purchases…I couldn’t help but consider…what the cashier must have thought as I unloaded my buggy…onto the conveyor…

Now…I know…you’re probably thinking that the cashier is busy and mindlessly scans the items…stuffing them into a sack without so much as a second thought…and…you are probably right…

But…

What if they didn’t…what if…they actually took the time to ponder my buggy contents…and try to decide what I’m up to…

Just think about it…if the town gossip were also the local checker…what conclusions would she make about me…based on my recent purchases…

I can just hear it all now…

Did you know that Jane is studying to be a stripper…that’s right…she bought all these boas…and…a feathered mask…why the mask…well…at her age…and…weight…you’d wear a mask…too…just saying

Or…

Did you know that Jane is really sick…yeah…I know…she looks healthy…but she’s got…female problems…bad female problems…she had a buggy full of feminine hygiene products…and at her age…we all know that can’t be good…yeah…you might want to check on her…maybe take her a casserole…she’s probably too weak to cook…and come to think about it…she didn’t have any food in her buggy…you’d better take her something…

Of course…I have a simple explanations…

First of all…it’s…Bertha…I’m getting ready for a Bertha-Size Your Life! promotion…and…one of her favorite expressions is…

When life hands you an ostrich…make a boa!

Of course I needed lots of boas…who wouldn’t…

Secondly…I’m a school nurse…of course…I purchase a lot of feminine products…hello…I’ve also been known to buy packs of kindergarten sized underwear…well…accidents do happen…

So…next time you go to your local store…just to pick up a few…things…you might want to consider…what the contents of your cart…say to some bored cashier…with a vivid imagination…just saying…

Jane