Sans Guilt…

I was tired last Friday morning…I’d gone to bed a little late…and I gave Jane Carrollmyself…permission to…say in bed a little later to compensate…then…I gave myself permission to…not make the bed…and…then…I gave myself permission to…not wash the skillet after making my eggs…and…I went to work…

Saturday morning…I gave myself permission…to take the day as slowly as I needed to…not rushing from one task to the next…

And…that’s pretty much how my weekend went…as I continued to consider options…and then…give myself permission…to do the one that I chose…even if it might not have been the most…productive…one…

But…that wasn’t all…I gave myself permission…to eat what I wanted…even if it wasn’t what I…thought…I should be eating…and…yes…some ice cream was consumed…

Now…Bertha…points out that my actions aren’t so unusual for me…I’ve left the bed unmade…not washed the skillet…and…eaten ice cream many times before…but she says that there is an important difference…and that was the giving of permission…and therefore…the absence of…guilt

And…she’s right…I didn’t feel guilty in the least…now does this mean I will always make these choices…of course not…I went to be early last night…got up on time…the bed is made…I’m sure the skillet will be washed…and…there isn’t any ice cream in the house…

Honestly…I’ve spent so many years feeling guilty…for what I did…for what I didn’t do…that it’s a welcome change…and…I give myself permission to…continue to give myself permission…

Jane

Finding Integrity…

Lately…I’ve had some pretty major decisions to make…Bertha Chose

Hmmm…what to do…

Bertha’s…advice to me…when making decisions…is always to do what feels good…at first…I have to admit…I thought she was giving me carte blanche to…run rampant through the mall swiping my credit card until it melted…eat decadent food at every whim…and…well…you get the picture…

Thankfully…she corrected me…I guess she got tired of me complaining about the bills and being overweight…but I digress…

She explained to me…that…feeling good…only comes from a place of integrity…anything that makes me feel guilty…or in any way goes against my moral code…doesn’t feel good in the long run…

I have to admit…even though this is great advice…I don’t always take it…sometimes…I swipe my card one time too many and end up eating Ramen noodles at the end of the month…sometimes…I give in to that yummy dessert and count calories for a couple of days…

I have to say…I was a bit surprised when…Bertha…laughed and told me that these slips weren’t necessarily out of my integrity…it’s the conscious choice that I’m making…that makes the difference…

If I buy this…is it worth being creative with the budget the rest of the month…if I eat this…is it worth cutting back for a couple of days…the difference is…awareness…conscious choice…

And that…she says…is integrity…

Hmmm…wonder how that’s going to play out in my…big…decisions…oh…no worries…I’m sure…Bertha…will be happy to tell me…

Jane