What’s in Your Cart…

Yesterday was errand day…and not just regular errands around my hometown…I had to go to Decatur for some things that I don’t ordinarily buy…

As I was stowing my rather unusual purchases…I couldn’t help but consider…what the cashier must have thought as I unloaded my buggy…onto the conveyor…

Now…I know…you’re probably thinking that the cashier is busy and mindlessly scans the items…stuffing them into a sack without so much as a second thought…and…you are probably right…

But…

What if they didn’t…what if…they actually took the time to ponder my buggy contents…and try to decide what I’m up to…

Just think about it…if the town gossip were also the local checker…what conclusions would she make about me…based on my recent purchases…

I can just hear it all now…

Did you know that Jane is studying to be a stripper…that’s right…she bought all these boas…and…a feathered mask…why the mask…well…at her age…and…weight…you’d wear a mask…too…just saying

Or…

Did you know that Jane is really sick…yeah…I know…she looks healthy…but she’s got…female problems…bad female problems…she had a buggy full of feminine hygiene products…and at her age…we all know that can’t be good…yeah…you might want to check on her…maybe take her a casserole…she’s probably too weak to cook…and come to think about it…she didn’t have any food in her buggy…you’d better take her something…

Of course…I have a simple explanations…

First of all…it’s…Bertha…I’m getting ready for a Bertha-Size Your Life! promotion…and…one of her favorite expressions is…

When life hands you an ostrich…make a boa!

Of course I needed lots of boas…who wouldn’t…

Secondly…I’m a school nurse…of course…I purchase a lot of feminine products…hello…I’ve also been known to buy packs of kindergarten sized underwear…well…accidents do happen…

So…next time you go to your local store…just to pick up a few…things…you might want to consider…what the contents of your cart…say to some bored cashier…with a vivid imagination…just saying…

Jane

WallyWorld…Unlimited…

I read an interesting blog this morning…by…Dave Jackson…about…striking it rich…as an author…you know…like J.K. Rowling or Stephen King…fame and fortune status…

Now…he had a list of ten things…some altruistic…some…just fun…that he would do…then…he asked the readers…what would you do…

Well…my mind started racing…bigger houses…maids…grandchildren’s college funds…okay…maybe…I’d help out some other people…actually…I’m pretty sure that would be on the top of the list…but…when it came all down to it…I knew…what I would do first…

Drumroll please…

I’d go to the local WallyWorld…where I bemoaned spending half a week’s salary just yesterday…and…still didn’t have anything to eat to speak of when it came time to cook dinner…and buy everything I needed…you know…laundry detergent…toilet tissue…bug spray…printer ink…light bulbs…new broom…all those kinds of things…without looking at the prices…and…keeping a running tally in my head…

As unimpressive as it sounds…that would be a total luxury…I’d worry about snazzy sports cars…and…Bertha…shopping at Prada…after I had plenty of toilet tissue in the house…I suppose that confirms Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

I just love when I can help out the scientific community…

Jane