Lies I Tell Myself…

IMG_6039-2 copyBertha… wanted me to talk about… lying… this morning… according to her I have been falling prey to four of the more common lies… even though I may not utter the words to anyone else… I hear them loud and clear…

I don’t have time… go to the gym… write… make the bed… keep the house the way I like it to look… only to find… that once I determined that I wanted to do these things… that they were really important to me… time didn’t seem to be a problem…

It doesn’t matter… whatever you want to do… has crossed my lips more times than hot fudge sauce… when… at least part of the time… it did matter… there was something that I wanted to do… somewhere I wanted to eat… something I wanted to watch…

I’m fine… nothing is the matter… oh… sparing someone else’s feelings… by burying mine… pretending that that unacceptable behavior was acceptable… pretending that my life is perfect… so no one will know that I am vulnerable…

I can’t afford it… and while it is true… there are many things that I can’t afford… it’s even more true that those aren’t the things I generally say I can’t afford… no… the things I usually refer to as too expensive… are usually things that I don’t really want… because… 99% of the time… if I really want something… I find a way to get it… I scrimp on something else… I save for it I work extra… I sell something… I borrow money… I ask for it as a gift…

So… yes… I’m guilty… no… not every day… and not all the time… in fact… I’m getting better about living my truth… but there are still times… when these falsehoods cross my mind and my lips…

Bertha… says… that’s okay… it’s a process… it’s learning to ask myself… is that really true… do I not have time… does it really not matter… am I really fine… can I really not afford it or do I just not want it… then she says to ask… what do I really want… how can I make this happen… where do I want to go… what do I want to do… how do I want to be treated… what do I really need today…

She says the more I do that… the more I will respect myself… and interestingly… the more others will respect me, too…

Jane…

Oh… and she said the same is true for you…

Sleeping in Alabama…

Jane CarrollLast week…I took the week off…it wasn’t intentional…at least not at first…I just really wasn’t feeling well after a little medical procedure…and…I found myself…sleeping…a lot…like ten to twelve hours each night…which just didn’t leave room for blogging…or even social media…many afternoons I didn’t even turn on my computer after I got home from work…and then I slept too late to do anything other than get ready in the mornings…

So…the blog wasn’t written…and the newsletter wasn’t sent…at first…I felt guilty…these were my…albeit self-imposed…responsibilities…

Thankfully…Bertha…got a hold of me about that time…reminding me…of her messages…live your truth…listen to your body…nurture yourself

Then…she got a little smarty…telling me that she doubted anyone jumped off a bridge when the newsletter didn’t come…or threw themselves in front of a train when there was no morning blog…

Well…those comments put a pin in my self-inflated balloon…and I spluttered around the room for a bit…but…she was right…nothing bad had happened…the world was still in orbit…the sun was still shining…

So…by the end of the week…when I was feeling better…but…I made a conscious decision…to…take a break…to sleep later on purpose…to do other things in the evenings…and…lo and behold…I enjoyed it…not something that I want to do all the time…I love to write the blog…I love creating the videos for the newsletter…but…like everyone else…I need a break now and again…and…I tend to forget to give myself permission to do that…maybe you do too…

Bertha’s…final take on the whole situation was…you can’t be there for others…unless you’re first there for yourself…

Jane…

Coaching with Jane Carroll and BerthaI love that I’m a work in progress…I love that I am probably my best coaching client…because I’m continually growing and learning and putting it all into action…and…I love working with you…as you go through the same process. Are you ready to live your truth…listen to your body…nurture yourself? Bertha…and I are ready for you! Send us an email to janecarrollauthor@charter.net to get started.

Oh…and be sure to sign up for the newsletter…it’ll be out this week…probably… 😉 and we have a fun one planned…