The Living Truth…


Bertha and I have been talking about living our truth lately…what does it really mean…we got pretty deep…she put on high-heeled mud boots at one point…but I think it’s worth sharing…so grab some boots…and read on…
Living my truth is multi-faceted…not hard…but often difficult…it’s more than just not lying when my friend asks if these pants make her butt look fat…
It’s coming from an authentic place…and that’s scary…because that makes me open for inspection…for approval…for disapproval…for criticism of the core of my being…
The fact of the matter is…I will be rejected…that’s just life…I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea…the question is…who am I willing to let be rejected…the real Jane…or some plastic-self I’ve created to please the crowd…even the crowd of one other…
Boy…that cuts to the heart of the matter…at first it seems that I’d rather have the plastic-self rejected…then the real me could still be safe…but it doesn’t work that way…
I know because I’ve tried it…many times…and what I do is just create more and more plastic-selves…until they are piled in the closet…naked with gnarled hair and twisted limbs…like so many discarded Barbie Dolls…
And…instead of feeling safe…I buried me even more…
Showing my authentic self to the world is a choice…I make it with every interaction that I have…sometimes it’s easy…sometimes not so much…
Like…really…what do you say when someone asks you how you are…and you aren’t…do you say…fine…or give a litany of complaints…even Bertha doesn’t have an answer to that question…she did just ask me if her butt looks big in those pants…hmmm…here we go again…
Jane

4 thoughts on “The Living Truth…

  1. Oh Jane… I am dealing with the same thing here on my end. Long, emotional story short…

    Being deathly afraid of my own authenticity came to a head this week… I'm to a point where, I either get out there, be me, – which requires me to go big… or go small.

    Going small is A LOT scarier than going big… going small means I never get to live my dream – I have to go back to living someone else's…

    I'm scared – I'm afraid like crazy of not being validated in what I do. I can deal with rejection – people not showing up to classes, people choosing to work with another fitness coach… that's easy… it's the things I see as "me not being validated" that scare the hell outta me.

    But, I'm going for it.

    As for what you tell people when you're NOT fine… I usually go with "I am well" – said with a smile on my face… because, even if I'm not FINE… I am "well…" LOL!!

    And, I think I have a whole box of those discarded Barbie's in the basement… hmmm… wonder if people would think it was weird if I put one on my alter as an inspiration to always be myself…

  2. Jenn…thanks for your candor…I always love connecting with you!

    I remember a few years back when you, Edie, and I started a Master Mind Group…Go Big, Girl…we called it…

    Even though we've all gone in different directions than we were headed at the time…I think we've all grown and blossomed…

    Taking my cue from Dirty Dancing…nobody puts Jenn (Baby) in the corner…Go Big, Girl…Go Big…

    And I love the Barbie on the alter…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *