What’s in Your Cart…


Yesterday was errand day…and not just regular errands around my hometown…I had to go to Decatur for some things that I don’t ordinarily buy…

As I was stowing my rather unusual purchases…I couldn’t help but consider…what the cashier must have thought as I unloaded my buggy…onto the conveyor…

Now…I know…you’re probably thinking that the cashier is busy and mindlessly scans the items…stuffing them into a sack without so much as a second thought…and…you are probably right…

But…

What if they didn’t…what if…they actually took the time to ponder my buggy contents…and try to decide what I’m up to…

Just think about it…if the town gossip were also the local checker…what conclusions would she make about me…based on my recent purchases…

I can just hear it all now…

Did you know that Jane is studying to be a stripper…that’s right…she bought all these boas…and…a feathered mask…why the mask…well…at her age…and…weight…you’d wear a mask…too…just saying

Or…

Did you know that Jane is really sick…yeah…I know…she looks healthy…but she’s got…female problems…bad female problems…she had a buggy full of feminine hygiene products…and at her age…we all know that can’t be good…yeah…you might want to check on her…maybe take her a casserole…she’s probably too weak to cook…and come to think about it…she didn’t have any food in her buggy…you’d better take her something…

Of course…I have a simple explanations…

First of all…it’s…Bertha…I’m getting ready for a Bertha-Size Your Life! promotion…and…one of her favorite expressions is…

When life hands you an ostrich…make a boa!

Of course I needed lots of boas…who wouldn’t…

Secondly…I’m a school nurse…of course…I purchase a lot of feminine products…hello…I’ve also been known to buy packs of kindergarten sized underwear…well…accidents do happen…

So…next time you go to your local store…just to pick up a few…things…you might want to consider…what the contents of your cart…say to some bored cashier…with a vivid imagination…just saying…

Jane

6 thoughts on “What’s in Your Cart…

  1. If it were MY cart, they would probably say, “Ah honey, did you leave any Oreo’s on the shelf?” Like they can’t order more? Puuuuleaseeeee…You go Bertha! We can’t wait!

  2. Not to scare ya but I worked at Walmart 19 years (though not a cashier the latter year or so they even made us managers check.. anyways you would be surprised how much the cashiers do think about the shoppers content, on the good note doesn’t sound like you had anything there that would stir the breakroom gossip chains.. we did the odd shopping last night also.. I had catfood dog worm meds, prilosec varicolored a Scifi movie and blueberries lemons and peaches odd mix lol.

    • See…I knew they were ‘checking me out’ as they were checking me out…LOL! Cathy, your purchases do sound a bit varied…I’m sure someone made up a story about them. Thanks for visiting.

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