Dreams…

Dreams are sneaky…no…not aspirations…dreams that come at night…bringing back situations and people…that my waking mind…my logical mind…banishes when they come up…in the daytime…
Dreams are sneaky…they creep into my sleep…when I am defenseless to stop them…and…then…they torture me…ahhh…too strong of a word…they aggravate me…until…fighting back…I wake up…
Dreams are sneaky…as soon as my eyes close again…they return…pick up right where they left off…bringing back all the drama…all the frustration…until…finally…I give up on slumber…and get up…
Dreams are sneaky…even after I’m awake…they roll around in my brain…why am I dreaming that…what does it mean…what should I do…I don’t want to dream that any more…I’m beyond that…but…I know…they’ll be back…on some unsuspecting night…because…
Dreams are sneaky…
Jane

Her Voice Was Changing…

Everything I…or anyone else for that matter…write has a voice…I hear it very distinctly as I read the page…I know the voice I like to write in…it has a soothing melody…a bit like rolling ocean waves…a friend of mine who sees life in colors…sees turquoise and lavender when reading those pages…
I like that image…I like that someone can see my voice as a color…and it’s very cool…that my favorite voice takes on my favorite colors…
To write in that voice…I have to be in a certain mood…a certain place in my life…confident…sure…true…and then it just flows…and I love it…I love writing…I love living…
I haven’t been there lately…I’ve been out of sorts…and my writing has reflected it…even though I tried…I tried really hard…to give it the same voice…it came out with a twang…a bit nasally…like singing with a cold…
Why am I out of sorts…nothing dramatic…it’s just as easy for me to get out of sorts when things are going well…than when they aren’t…sometimes it’s actually easier…I’m not always sure how to handle the good times…strangely…they can be frightening…
I found myself engaging in other people’s drama…seeking it out…at least that’s what Bertha said…explaining that I wasn’t comfortable with my life at the moment…I was seeking distraction…instead of letting my life evolve as it was meant to…
So…I’ve struggled with my writing…trying from my place of frustration…to get my voice to sound like I wanted it to…
Bertha…gently…and when I say gently…I mean she hit me over the head with a skillet…explained that rather than trying to force my voice…it would be so much easier to do the things that I know will help me back to the place where the turquoise and lavender voice flows…
Nothing gives me hope like Granny’s Buttercups!
Time in the contemplation chair…this time sitting in the sunshine in Granny’s rocker…visiting Granny’s buttercups…picking a few…digging a few…I feel my voice changing…softening…thank you Granny…

Jane