Banking on Trees…

As long as I’ve lived in this house…I have bemoaned the steep embankment that is my backyard…I’ve had some landscape work…doing my best to pretty it up…but…the fact remains…I have an incredibly small backyard…and it is essentially unusable…

So…lately…I’ve been entertaining the idea of a man with a bobcat…leveling out the bank…then…a retaining wall…and…viola…a backyard to enjoy…

And…I was all set to do it…in fact…the only thing holding me back was that I didn’t have the money…until…Bertha…had evidently had enough…so she pointed to the trees that are just beyond the privacy fence at the top of the embankment…and asked me just exactly where I thought their roots were…

Hmmm…down my embankment…

And…what would happen if I destroyed all the roots to the trees…

Ummm…the trees would fall on my house…

Then what…

My birds and squirrels wouldn’t have anywhere to nest…

And…what is my favorite part of the backyard…

Honestly…those trees…that don’t belong to me…whose roots are in my bank…and the wildlife that they offer a home to…

Okay…I’m sure you get the gist…even if I had the money…the embankment is staying…

Of course…Bertha…didn’t stop there…she had say that it reminded her of my life…and…how…sometimes…my least favorite things actually support my favorite things…

And…she’s right…again

Jane

At the Rock…

My thoughts are popping like corn this morning…darting from here to there…and never quite settling on one thing to write about…should it be the crazy dream I had last night…the trip to my daughter’s last weekend…the fact that the flamingo did a nose dive in the yard…or…several other things that are floating through…

But…none of them seem just right…although…I do have pictures of the flamingo…and…some funny theories as to why it was pounding its head against a rock…it just doesn’t seem like what…needs…to come out this morning…

No…it’s deeper than that…I need to work through…my frustration…

For the past several months…I’ve been on a quite restricted dietary regime…not for weight loss…but…to correct some metabolic issues…that poor diet and lifestyle choices over the years…created…

And…it’s been…okay…I say…it’s not really…hard…it’s more…inconvenient

So…it was with hope…for some leniency…that I went for a recheck last week…maybe…yogurt…and…eggs…a couple of times a month…

Instead…I got…you’re doing good…keep it up until at least January…then…we’ll see

Okay…I have to admit it…I’ve been grumpy…I’ve been withdrawn…I’ve been in a funk…ever since…I’m tired of it…

I’m tired of being…different…based on what I cannot eat…I want to feel…normal…again…

Bertha…reminds me…I’ve never been…normal…I’ve always marched to my own drum…no point in trying to fit in now…

She goes on to tell me…it’s not the food that’s bothering me…it’s the feelings that I have associated with the food over the years…the self-nurturing that I have done…with food…most of which…is not on my list anymore…

Who is she kidding…none of my nurturing foods are on my list…and…somehow…broccoli and grilled chicken…just aren’t that soothing…

Thankfully…she said…that I don’t have to rely on food for nurturing…that I have so many…ways to do that…spending time in nature…meditation…contemplation…reading good books…exercise…spending time with people I love…writing…cooking…and…the list goes on and on…

Hmmm…she’s right…all of those things do nurture me…but there are times…when…only ice cream…would do the trick…

And…that’s when she joined the flamingo…at the rock…

Jane