A Stylist’s Nightmare…

There are some things in life that are embarrassing…and then there are some that are just downright humiliating…the story you are about to read…is neither…not really…but…it did make me go…hmmm…

This weekend…was a writing marathon…which usually means…no makeup…no shampoo…just writing…which is fine and good…unless you unexpectedly need to go somewhere…then…there’s the decision…do I just go like I am and take my chances of running into somebody I know…or…do I take the time and effort to clean up before I go…

You probably see where this is going…

Okay…after what seemed like months of sitting at my computer…typing away…I realized that if I wanted to eat the next day…I had to get a few groceries…insert the above dilemma…

I chose the first option…I’d take my chances…and all was going well…until…right in the middle of the canned foods…I heard my name…I looked up from the cart…readying my list of excuses for my unkempt appearance…only to see my smiling hair stylist…

She didn’t comment on my hair…I didn’t offer any excuses…we just talked around it…but…after I walked away…I couldn’t help but wonder…did she want to make an announcement…hey…don’t look at me…her hair looked great when she left the salon…I can’t be responsible for what she does or doesn’t do to it on her own

I’m betting the thought crossed her mind…

I wish I could say that I’ve learned my lesson…but I know that I haven’t…I know that there will be another marathon something…that will find me unkempt…and seeking groceries…and I will slink to the store hoping against hope that I won’t see anyone I know…but…maybe…just maybe…I’ll wear a ball cap next time…

Hey…it couldn’t hurt…

Jane

School’s Out…Who Am I…

It’s the last day of school…and just like millions of school kids…I’m ecstatic…I’m ready for the summer break…ready for sleeping a little later…ready to have more time to write…ready to…well…I’m just ready

The funny thing is…when the time actually comes…the last bell rings…leaving feels kind of odd…I’ve looked forward to it…and yet…usually…I hate to leave…I sort of hang around…not knowing how to say goodbye to my friends…my work…

The kids must feel the same way…because…the same kids that we couldn’t keep in class for love nor money all year…won’t leave once classes have dismissed…they hang around…they offer to help the teachers clean the rooms…they sweep the halls…they move furniture…they have to be shooed out of the building so we can lock up…

Berthasays…it reminds her of my life…I should have seen that one coming…anyway…she says it’s that fear of getting out of my comfort zone…even if…it isn’t where I want to be…it’s what I know…what I’m…well…comfortable with…

And…she’s right…love them or not…I have my workday routines down pat…I know what time I need to get up…go to bed…what day to shop…what day to clean…well…just because I know…doesn’t mean I do it…geez…

I think the real issue is…I don’t know who am I’m this summer…I’m not the same person I was two summers ago…when I rode my bike forty some odd miles a day and challenged my body…I’m not the same person I was last summer…when I spent most of my time on the couch…continuing to recover from surgery…this summer…I’m different…I’m writing again…I want to ride…but…I don’t want it to consume me…I want to strike a balance…spiritually…physically…mentally…creatively…

I realize…I’ve been trying to plan a rigid schedule for the summer…crack the whip…get up early…write…eat…cycle…shower…write…write…write…housework…cooking…so many things…that I want to accomplish…

And…there’s the fear…will I be able to do it all…will I be able to finish the book…will I be able to get back in shape…as long as summer is sometime in the future…I don’t have to find out…but…tomorrow…when it’s summer…well…after my dentist appointment…I have to figure that out…

It’s the fear…that has me creating the rigid schedules in my head…and…it all boils down to…am I good enough…and…the answer is…yes…I am…whether I finish the book…whether I ride my bike…whether I cook or clean…I am good enough…just because…I am…

Hmmm…time to relax…and let the days take their own structure…doing what feels right…what feels comfortable…letting the time flow with my energy…Bertha…says…that’s part of living my truth…

So…today…when that last bell rings…I wonder…will I be the first or the last one out the door…well…I probably will be among the first…see…I have a hair appointment…and I really need a cut…so when all is said and done…vanity trumps fear…

Jane