That’s Not What I Meant…

Bertha…just gave me a phrase…which is a good thing…because I had nothing to write about…anyway…here’s what she reminded me of…

It’s not what you say…it’s how you say it…

I’m immediately reminded of my high school economics teacher…she told us one day that she did an experiment to prove that dogs don’t understand words…just tone of voice…

So…in a very sweet voice…she said to a dog…go away…shoo…go away…and…it wagged its tail and came to her…then later she said in a very gruff voice…come here you sweet little puppy…but…the dog wouldn’t come…

Thus…proving her theory…

Now…I’m not sure what this lesson had to do with economics…but…it had a whole lot to do with life…

So…today…Bertha…is prompting me to pay attention to the way I say things…to the tone of my voice…to my body language…not just to the words that I speak…especially…when I interact with the children at school…because…they are very astute at hearing exactly what I mean…not what I say…

Hmmm…

Jane

PS…sadly…that’s the only thing I remember from that class…

I Like Big Bottom Lines…I Cannot Lie…

I was talking with a friend this weekend…about relationships…their sentiment being…that there’s always a bottom line…a low point…an invisible line…that once it’s crossed…there’s no going back…unfortunately…it’s not something that can be articulated to the other person…ahead of time…

Well…you know me…I’ve contemplated that a lot since then…and…I can appreciate the truth to it…I’ve always thought of it as a door…that once closed couldn’t be reopened…but…I don’t think the image is as important as the concept…

In looking back to the times that I chose to end a relationship…I can see…there was always a decisive moment…when things could have gone either way…one action…one word…could have spared the relationship…but…left undone…left unspoken…there was no going back…even if the relationship continued for a time…it was empty…null…void…

Interestingly…I couldn’t have told you ahead of time…what that moment would be…maybe it’s the realization that things will never change…maybe it’s realizing that staying in the relationship is more painful than living without it…I’m sure that if I contemplate it long enough…I can find the common denominator…that elusive feeling that I can’t yet describe…

Bertha…was eavesdropping on the conversation…and my contemplation…she later told me that the bottom line…applies to much more than intimate relationships…it applies to my whole life…

She reminds me of jobs I have left…after being unhappy for some time…and not taking action…one day…it was just over…the thought of staying in the job was more painful than looking for a new one…and I started looking…

Then…there is my body…she reminds me of the events of the summer…when I realized that it was more painful to continue to seek comfort in food…than to create a healthier lifestyle…including releasing those foods…

And…she’s right…even though I wasn’t totally aware that the line had been drawn…that it was being crossed at the time…once it was…there was never a doubt…and…no going back…

Jane