Rolling Down the Red Carpet…

I had an incredible weekend…and…no…I wasn’t off jet setting…in fact…I only left home a handful of times…and none of those trips were very exciting

My excitement began on Saturday…by way of an announcement…Bertha-Size Your Life!…was currently tied for the best traditionally published book of 2012…in the Master Koda book contest…

Well…that was enough to give me heart flutters…knowing I was so close…and having no control over the final decision…Bertha…on the other hand took it in stride…and began writing her acceptance speech…starting with…I’d like to thank the members of the Academy…she also ordered a red runner for the living room…

So…putting it aside…I decided to focus on my tasks at hand…and…I did manage to get the artwork for the sequel organized and sent to the publisher…

In the meantime…I received a message about being on a radio program…and spoke with the host…and…yes…I will be on in March…it’s a great show…and I’ll be posting details about it soon…

Not long after that…the announcement was made…that…Bertha…was indeed the winner…and…life became a blur for a bit…what with…Bertha…squeezing into her Über sexy ball gown…and me trying to get the wrinkles out of that red rug…

After she made a few laps around the room…and thanked her supporting cast…the cat…I made a pot of chili and cleaned the kitchen…folded the laundry…and got things ready for today…

Hmmm…I’m beginning to feel like Cinderella…doing all the work while…Bertha…has all the fun…but…I suppose it is only fair…it is all about…Bertha…she’s the star…I just hold the pen…and write what she dictates…

And…that’s the way we roll…

Jane

Desperate Vampires…

Yesterday…I know…I always seem to start out that way…but…honestly…I write early in the morning…nothing has happened yet…unless…teeth brushing and bed making…are worthy of blogs…well…probably not…so…I’ll stick with…

Yesterday…I was appreciating how nice the kitchen looked…as…I was making lunch…then…my thoughts wandered over to the…futileness…of cleaning the kitchen…it seems that no matter how often I clean it…someone’s always eating something and messing it right back up…unfortunately…I live alone…so…you can probably figure out…who that someone is…yep…the same someone who has to clean it up again…

Anyway…those thoughts…soon…had me contemplating other seemingly futile tasks…laundry…quickly came to mind…now…to me…laundry is on the top of the list…of those…never really get them done…chores…I mean…really…no matter how much I stuff into the machine…I’ve always got something on…that’s essentially…dirty…

Well…you might anticipate where my thoughts went next…I could do the laundry in the nude…that would solve that problem…I’ve heard of women who do that…thankfully…I’ve never visited any of them…on…wash day…but…I have heard of them…

Now…after more contemplation…I figure…in order to join them in getting all my laundry done at the same time…I would first have to meet up with Barnabas Collins…for a little neck chomping session…

Why…you might ask…elementary…my dear Watson…vampires…can’t see themselves…in every mirror they walk by…hmmm…now that I think about it…I might like being a vamp…who knows…

Jane

PS…and…thank you…Bertha…for challenging me to join the twenty-first century…and write about…vampires…I told you I could do it…well…okay…I did it…kinda…sorta…but…I was close…hey…that counts…doesn’t it…

Bertha…says…this isn’t horseshoes…geez…