Looking Foolish…

Today…I started a new workout…weight training…not using the machines at the gym…but…using real weights…I’ve been knowing it was what I needed to do…but…I have been putting it off for months…I have the book…the program is totally laid out…it’s simple…do these workouts…three times a week…build muscle…burn fat…

So…what’s the problem…well…honestly…it totally intimidates me…

It intimidates me…because…it makes me visible at the gym…until now…I’ve been essentially invisible on my exercise bike…spinning away at my heart’s content…but…not calling attention to myself…

Lifting weights will be different…that’s moving around…that’s saying…excuse me…when I need someone to move…it’s taking up space that someone else might want to occupy…

Besides…I’m not familiar with the routine…I might look foolish…it will take a while to build up to real weights…I might look foolish

Bertha…says…it parallels my life…reminding me that over the years…I’ve moved from center stage…to a side act…in my own life…not wanting to call too much attention to myself…not wanting to inconvenience others…not asking for what I want and need…just spinning over in the corner…instead…not wanting to look foolish…

And…although I hate to admit it…it’s all true…

So…today I started the new program…a step in the right direction…a baby step…I went at a time when there were a few people there…I did the warm-up and as much of the program as I could in an empty exercise room…but…I did go onto the floor for a few things…I asked someone to excuse me…I moved around…I used baby weights…people saw me…but…I really don’t think they paid too much attention…

And…Bertha…says…they rarely do…

Jane