The Caregiver

 

Losing your independence
You took mine
I gave as freely as I could
Kicking and screaming as I was
I couldn’t give enough of me
To reclaim your days gone by
But I tried
And then you left
It was your time to go
Everyone said so
But they didn’t see
The pieces of me you clutched tightly
As you faded away
Where are those pieces now
Do they still exist

I miss you Mama… every day… I especially miss our Sunday afternoon drives… with stops for forbidden ice cream… I miss you singing a little off key… and… swatting ChowChow with the fly flap… I miss her too… you both left me at the same time… I know… life goes on… I have my tiny haven at the lake… I have Thelma and Louise… but there’s a part of me you will always keep… tend it well.

Rest in Peace
Jane

Giving Up on Me…

IMG_6039-2 copyFor a couple of weeks… I’ve had a song going through my mind… it was there when I went to bed at night… and still going when I got up in the morning… and even during those pit stops in between… it was there at work… it was everywhere…

Now… for years… I’ve gotten messages from songs… so of course I contemplated the meaning for me… Say Something… I’m Giving Up on You

It was strange… it didn’t fit… I’m not in a relationship… there was no one to give up on… and no one to give up on me…

Bertha… let me contemplate it for a bit… before she told me… she was the one singing… I was the one who needed to say something… who needed to write again…

And… it’s true… I do need to write again… I’ve taken a couple of months off… after feeling too many demands on my life… most of them self-imposed… but… it is time to get my fingers back on the keyboard again…

Interestingly… it wasn’t easy… there were so many excuses not to… invalid reasons… to keep my words bottled inside… but… Bertha… reminds me… reminds you… that when I block my passion… I block my soul… I can’t grow… and I can’t soar

I wonder… now that I’ve written this… if she will quit singing… and… I hope she won’t… the song is hauntingly beautiful… and just a reminder… not to give up on me…

Jane…