Are you living the life of Cinderella… before the ball?
Huh?
Okay… I’ll explain. Before the ball, Cinderella never said NO. Always did what she was told or what was expected of her. She dreamed that her life could be different… but never really did anything to change it. She actually was the heiress to her father’s estate and yet she lived as a servant and a pauper. She really didn’t believe in herself… she was stuck in the old… I’m Not Enough Syndrome.
Essentially, Cinderella was a people pleaser… just like I was… and just like many of you are. The only difference is… she had a fairy godmother.
But interestingly enough, her fairy godmother did nothing to change Cinderella. She only changed her beliefs about herself. For the first time, Cinderella believed she was a true princess and she became the part… she became ENOUGH in her own mind. Which was wonderful… until the clock struck twelve… and it all went away… Cinderella and her newfound beliefs all became proverbial pumpkins.
Of course you know the end of the story… Cinderella left a glass slipper at the ball and the Prince used it to search for her… somehow he knew that only his princess would have a foot tiny enough for it to fit… and Cinderella had just enough moxie left to step up and produce the other shoe after her ugly stepsister broke the one the prince brought along.
And… they lived happily ever after.
So let me tell you what’s going on if you are living the life of pre-ball Cinderella. It’s not what you are doing for other people that is getting to you… it’s your underlying, subconscious beliefs that are causing the problems. And… specifically it’s the anger, fear, frustration, guilt, despair and a host of other unpleasant emotions which those beliefs trigger to keep you behaving in a way to protect yourself.
Jane
Oh… I forgot to mention… you can change your life… without a fairy godmother or a magic wand… and that’s the real magic! CLICK HERE to request a complimentary magic-wand session with Bertha and me.
I’m a recovering people pleaser! I wrote something on it the other day thinking I was alone in this whole thing, only to find that a lot of people are fighting it! I’ve since made the transition (finding that it still shows up sometimes) and I can tell you that life is much better on the other side! Here is my story: http://www.marcensign.com/those-people/
Oh, Marc… we are everywhere and in every walk of life! I loved your story and your aha moment and found your words to be right on target. I agree people pleasing will continue to show up from time to time… that’s why I offer my clients the tools to get them through those sneak attacks. Thanks for visiting and I look forward to more interaction with you!
I feel like Cinderella at times when it comes to please others… But I choose myself in first place other times… I think your post is really intelligent… I’ll keep it in mind from now on!… All my best wishes, dear Jane! Aquileana ~✨
Aquileana,
So glad you are also choosing yourself… it is so important to do that and it creates a nice balance in life. Thank you for your comment and best wishes to you as well… I always smile when you visit! 🙂