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Reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love touched me. I snatched my daughter’s copy…it wasn’t speaking to her…it said volumes to me. I related to the ending of an important relationship, I’ve always been a spiritual person…and the hope of new love…well I needed that most of all.
The book resonated with me for the moment and then I was on to something else…or was I?
Bertha only pointed out to me yesterday as I was buying some lovely fall fashions…in yet a larger size…that I had gotten stuck in the Eat stage. I know that it’s true…I eat for comfort…when I’m scared…mad…sad…I eat. And that’s what I had been doing for about two years…eating…and undoing the weight loss efforts of the years before. Once again…I had become what I ate…a muffin…darn carbs…
Thankfully, before I could totally berate myself for each of those regained pounds…the Pray stage came along. It wasn’t the smooth, clear-cut transition in the book…no hopping on a plane and landing in the land of mysticism…no it followed brain surgery…well…I didn’t know I was on her path or I would have chosen an ashram in India…give me a break!
Brain surgery was actually a time of nothing…no emotions…it was just blah. It wasn’t until the summer when I started to feel good again that the spiritual starvation was upon me. Suddenly, I couldn’t get enough…I’ve read so many books and have established my own rituals of prayer and meditation that includes sending love and light to others…
I’ll back up just a bit to the nothing…nothing is ever wasted…(pun intended)…feeling no emotion I was able to revisit situations and relationships from my past and truly understand and forgive…them and me. It was a nice benefit…but I wouldn’t recommend the surgery just for that outcome…
I think I’m still in Pray…in fact…I know I am…and that’s just fine…I do find that my eating is in check once again…as I practice loving not only God but myself and my body…it’s easier to feed those emotions without carbs.
So…I haven’t made it to Love…yet…but I have made it to Blog… which  precedes Love…I’ve reached the place where I can open myself up to myself and others…and be vulnerable…and isn’t that what love really is?
Jane