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The other day… I was minding my own business… I had just finished yoga on the porch… and since it was still fairly cool… I decided to take a walk. Thelma and Louise were on the porch… and I thought all was well in my world… and it was until I opened the screen door. Enter three hornets. It was then that the circus began.

Thankfully… the hornets all flew to one corner of the porch… and after turning in a few circles trying to figure out what to do… I had the presence of mind to grab what I thought was Wasp and Hornet spray… and began to pursue the villains… however… the cats were also in hot pursuit. So in an effort to save the cats from being stung repeatedly or eating bug spray… I picked Thelma up and slung her in the house… next I fairly gently picked up Louise… who was quite upset by all the commotion… and who proceeded to claw my pinkie finger… of course in all the commotion… Thelma escaped back onto the porch… the hornets were slowing down but were probably still capable of stinging… I was dripping blood all over the place while spraying and attempting to keep the cats away.

At that point I yelled for my neighbor to help me… and she came over… dodging hornets… armed with paper towels… and stopped the bleeding. I honestly don’t know where the cats were at this point… but I kept spraying the hornets with what I now know was… ant spray… but it finally did the trick.

My neighbor washed the blood away on the porch… I swept up the hornets… and I’m not sure what the cats did… but… somehow… I did get them inside until I could clean up the bug spray… and get my finger bandaged.

From there… there was much activity… a visit from the pest control company… who couldn’t find the nest… but did spray. There was a call to the office to request that my shrubs be trimmed… because hornets were seen playing in them and… they are overlapping the sidewalk.

Finally… there was a tetanus shot… and the purchase of new antibiotic cream and bandages… a little eating off my plan… buying real wasp and hornet spray… two cans… and a nap. I really needed the nap.

Of course… I did some Googling about hornets… they are fairly docile and only attack if they are provoked… like being sprayed with ant spray… trapped in a porch… and… chased by cats. We may all be lucky to be alive… well except for the hornets… may they rest in peace.

Unfortunately, I still have hornets… maybe they slowed down a little but not so much as I can tell. We are looking for the nest.

On the other hand… the shrubs are nicely trimmed… I’m protected from tetanus, diphtheria, and whooping cough for ten more years…. Bertha did her own Googling and found that hornets eat other bugs including aphides… so… my roses should do well… that’s if the hornets let me get close enough to them to see.

Of course Bertha had to find a moral to the story… I should be more careful of who and what I open my door too… literally… and figuratively. Something to contemplate.