I suppose it is the nurse in me…or…perhaps the mother…but…it’s really hard for me…
to sit beside someone who is in pain…whether…physical or emotional…and…do…nothing…
My propensity…has always been to…fix it…even if that meant…totally taking over the other person’s life…usually without permission…and…honestly…quite often…making things worse instead of better…
But…lately…Bertha…has been holding me back…which is somewhat akin to riding a bucking bronco…but being up for the challenge…she has definitely been reigning me in…bit by bit…
First…she told me I was…arrogant…
What…me…humble servant to the masses…
She held firm…I was arrogant to believe…that…I knew better than the other person what they needed…I was arrogant to believe that…I…was the only one who could fix things…
Hmmm…
Then she pointed out…that…I really wasn’t being a friend when I took over…because…I wasn’t trusting the other person…to work things out…I wasn’t giving them the opportunity…to learn their lesson…and…grow in the way that they needed to…she related it to a toddler…if someone picked it up every time it stumbled and carried it…it would never learn to walk…
Now…she was quick to point out…that doesn’t mean…that…I ignore my friends…that I don’t help out…no…not at all…she’s just reminding me…that…sometimes…holding a hand…is the only helping hand…that’s needed…
Jane
I have been there too, Jane, where I want to take over and do the work for the other person (often emotional work). I totally get that. In some ways it is much more difficult to take the hand than to hold the hand, isn’t it?…
It truly is…Christy…but…the healthiest thing for all concerned! (((HUGS))) to you dear friend…and…my hand is here if you ever need it! 😉