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I’d be willing to bet…if you bugged a gathering of women…especially if food is involved…the conversation is bound to turn to weight…and the need to lose it…even women who look trim and fit…will often join in the group wail…of…I need to lose weight

Now that it’s…Tis the Season to be Eating…goodies magically appear in all the familiar places…and a few unexpected ones as well…the month of revelry…will surely lead to…Tis the Season to be Dieting

Which creates a frenzy of a new sort…looking for the perfect diet…at which point…the diet industry rivals Black Friday sales figures…as we plunk our money down…looking for that quick fix to get our bought on sale pants buttoned…

I know all of this…from years of…research…yes…that’s what I’m calling it…it sounds better that way…more scientific…

I figure I’ve tried most of the fads…ate bowls of cabbage soup…grapefruits with every meal…no fat…no carbs…low calorie…but…I’ve finally hit upon the one that works…and…I’m losing weight…

So…of course when a co-worker bemoaned that she needed to lose a few…I was all too eager to share in explicit detail…exactly what I’m doing…what I eat…the exact amounts…the exact time of day…all of that…while smugly thinking…and…if you’d only do this…you’d lose weight…too

I actually thought I’d done her a service…until that night…when I got home…and…Bertha…had a chat with me…she reminded me…not so gently…that just because it is working for me…at this point in my life…with my particular circumstances…doesn’t mean it would work for my friend…doesn’t even mean my friend should attempt it…

She further reminded me…that it is not an approach that would have worked for me in the past…in fact…it is quite different from what I successfully did a few years ago…

Before…I was enjoying experimenting with foods and cooking…I tried at least one new food a week…it took planning…it took time…but…it worked…I lost weight…

Now…I’m more structured in my diet…I really don’t want to plan…don’t want to spend a lot of time cooking…what I’m doing is working…and I don’t want to waver…at least not right now…it works…I’m losing weight…

So…with that in mind…Bertha…more gently this time…reminded me…that…while I could share what’s working for me…I could in no way assume…that it would work for anyone else…or even me…in a different place in life…

She brought back an old memory…when I was a stay at home mom…I had this great routine going…my house was clean…meals were cooked…my baby was well cared for…and then it all fell apart…the place was trashed…I couldn’t figure it out…had I become a slacker…when I realized that my baby…was walking…and trashing the house in her wake…then…less and less was getting done…was I slacking…oh…I had an eighteen month old and a new, colicky baby…my routines that once worked…never worked again…I wasn’t in the same place…

She said it’s the same with everything…including weight loss…I change…my circumstances change…my needs change…and…so will my techniques…

Well…I got the message…I apologized to my friend the next day…wished her well with whatever changes she decides to make in her life…and let it go…

Because…now I know…according to…Bertha…the only diet that really works…is the one I’m having good results with now…because…now…is all I have…

Jane

PS…Of course…Bertha…and I encourage anyone who is considering losing weight to check with their doctor before beginning a program…and…avoid funky fad diets…which are often more harmful than beneficial…