What is it about coming of a certain age…that makes a woman grow weary of being a people pleaser? Maybe it’s just that we grow tired of doing all the time. Or maybe…it’s that we realize…it’s an impossible task to make anyone…much less…everyone else happy.
As long as I remember…I was been hell-bent and determined…to make everybody happy…or at least not to inconvenience them. I stayed in relationships long past their expiration date…and yes…like milk they got pretty sour…simply because it might inconvenience him to not have me at his beck and call.
I know…now…it sounds ridiculous…and yet…I still find myself hearing the words of my youth from time to time…what will the neighbors think…as I make choices about my life…
Thankfully…Bertha…reminds me…that the neighbors probably won’t think anything…because…they’re too busy worrying about what the rest of us will think…to give me a second thought…
And…even if they did…their opinion of me…is really none of my business…I can’t make them happy…by trying to guess who or what they might want me to be…and then trying to be it…
So…here I am…of a certain age…and although I have no desire to become a rebel…with or without a cause…I do enjoy the freedom…of pleasing myself the best I can…and allowing everyone else to do the same…
Bertha…says…it’s…living within the expiration dates…
I’ll have to contemplate that a bit…but it makes me smile in the meantime…
I think I rambled today…I hope you don’t mind…just kidding…
Well, here’s what I think…you and Bertha are absolutely right about this! Keep on keeping on, Jane. You and Bertha are inspiration to us all. 🙂 (Not that it matters what I think!)
LOL…it always matters what you think, Peggy…well…maybe. Glad it was meaningful to you.
Thank you for this reminder! I suffer from being a people pleaser myself. I’ll need time to digest these words of wisdom.
Thanks Tamy…it takes time…and while it’s okay to do nice things for others because you just want to…you have to be sure you are balancing that with taking care of yourself. 😉
Rock on Jane! I gave up the people pleasing gig about 12 years ago and I taught my daughters to not even thing about playing it.
This people pleasing thing is a crock of poop. 🙂
Think…not thing 😉
Peggy, That is an excellent lesson to teach your daughters…you are a wise woman!
Good on you girls! It can sometimes take a lifetime to learn that we don’t have to please everyone all the time. I did many of the same things you did Jane. I still feel guilty when I say the word ‘no’ but I’ve gotten a bit better. 🙂
No is like a muscle Debby, the more we say it…the stronger it gets! Glad you’re getting better…just keep going!
I am smiling as I see the new photo of you here, Jane! It’s lovely. You look so thoughtful 🙂 I enjoyed your words too that remind us it is important to be good to ourselves first and foremost xxoo
Thanks Christy…I so appreciate your comment about the picture and the words. I love that more and more women are ready and willing to begin taking care of themselves. I think the world will be a much nicer place when we do! 😉
i know exactly how you feel. I stayed way too long too, trying to please my church family. But they didn’t live in my shoes and those who got upset I moved on from. I can’t please anyone else and I’ve given up trying. I’m much happier not trying.
Linda…isn’t that interesting that other people think they know what you need to do and what is right for you. So glad you quit listening to them and followed your own heart. And I’m glad that you chose to move on from them as well as the relationship. I know you are happy now. 😉
Sure, do what you can for others, but your needs are just as important.
It’s so true, Alisa…we will always help others…that’s just what we as caring women do…but when we do it from a place of desire and not fear of them not liking us or of hurting their feelings…it doesn’t feel so good. Always take great care of yourself!