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Oh what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive—Sir Walter Scott
Bertha and I are still discussing living our truth…and how that affects our life…so opportunities to learn more and go deeper keep showing up.
I recently read that any time we tell a lie…no matter how teeny, tiny…white…or innocent it seems…that we are manipulating the other person…
I argued with it…don’t remember where I read it…but I do remember arguing with it…it of course won…with Bertha’s help…the argument went something like this…
Me…I don’t tell big lies…(it’s true…I don’t)…and I only tell the itty-bitty ones because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings…
Bertha…why don’t you want to hurt their feelings…
Me…well…they’re my friends…I don’t want to make them feel bad…they might get mad at me…they might not like me anymore…or…I’m embarrassed about something I did…they might think I’m foolish…they might not like me anymore…
Bertha…and…don’t you see that is actually manipulating them…only saying things you think they want to hear…so they will like you…
Me…OMG…you’re right…I’m not only a liar…I’m a manipulator…
Bertha…let’s don’t get carried away…let’s just say you were misguided…
Me…exhale…(I’ve been waiting to do that)…
Bertha went on to talk hypothetically about having lunch at a friend’s…and trying out her newest recipe…which is totally unpalatable…but when she asks how it is…saying it’s…tasty…delicious…yummo…thinking I’ve spared her feelings…she still likes me…she’ll have me over for lunch again…
And she does…but she always serves that same dish…because she thinks it is my favorite…then I would start making excuses not to go…and that might hurt her feelings…and she might not have me over for lunch again…
Bertha also points out…that it could also go another way…she could take my approval as the go ahead to make the dish for someone else…thinking mother-in-law…garden club…potluck…eventually…somebody’s gonna tell her the truth…she’ll be humiliated…and she’ll know I lied…and probably won’t like me so much…probably won’t have me over for lunch again…hmmm…
So…Bertha and I are still trashing out living our truth…and being our authentic self…there seem to be a lot of layers…like peeling an artichoke…spiny leaves on the outside…followed by a big hairy mess…until finally…if you keep peeling…you reach the sweet heart of the matter…
I’ll take mine with butter…lemon…and just a hint of garlic…would you like the recipe…maybe I’ll ask you for lunch…
Jane