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Itās an ordinary life, good and solid, few thrills and chills, just days end to end like elephants on parade. Then why is there such longing for things unheard, un-tasted, untouched? Why is there such longing for more than enough? I have enough of everything: enough food, enough house, enough clothes, enough money, enough children, enough career. So how can enough not be enough? How can the longing devour the solidness of my days and nights? Longing, like a termite eating away at the foundation of my life, creating ever such tiny holes in my contentment and as those tiny holes grow my whole world collapses into longingāshatteredāsplinteredāordinary.
I wrote this several years ago while journaling. In fact, it was to be part of the closing of my next bookā¦you know the one I never finishedā¦but I digress. It is one of my favorite things I have ever written. It just gets to the heart of how I sometimes feel.
The funny thing wasā¦it wasnāt what I meant to be writing aboutā¦it just slipped outā¦found its way onto the pageā¦as things seem to have a way of doing. Thatās what I love about writing. It brings out the parts of me that I try to hide even from myself. Some people call it automatic writing, some call it channelingā¦Bertha says the only time I get quite enough to listen to her is when Iām writingā¦who knowsā¦who caresā¦it works for me.
Jane
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This is deep and well said. It completes thoughts for me regarding parts of my own life. I believe we crave more because our spirits won't allow us to stay in the "content" zone. We must do, see, and feel more in order to live life to the fullest. I'm loving your writing. It makes me think. I hope more will "slip out."
Queenie…Thank you so much for your comment. I agree that we can only be content and ready for more…we can't stand still…