Help!

Bertha…is bringing up a subject this morning…one that is mostly difficult for me…and probably for many of you as well…and that is…accepting help…and…even more difficult…asking for help…

This is truly a challenge…I’ve been fiercely independent for a long time…Mama recounts that as a two-year old I would stomp my foot…and proclaim…I’ll do it

Now you may think that was just a case of the terrible twos…and while I’m sure it was…I just kind of didn’t grow out of it…

So…it’s hard for me to accept help…even when I want it…even when I need it…and…although I’ve never been to intense counseling about it…I think it’s just a fear of being vulnerable…of seeming incapable…in some way…

Now…don’t get me wrong…I’ll probably let you help with the dishes if you come over for dinner…dislike of kitchen cleaning trumps vulnerability…every time

It’s the big deals that have always given me pause…although…as I write this…I realize…I’m changing…in that respect…I belong to a few groups that cross promote each other’s writing…and…I can now ask for what I need within the groups…it’s a start…

And…according to…Bertha…it’s an important start…because…there’s a balance between…giving and receiving…or…there should be…the more I receive…the more I accept…the more I can give…be it…time…money…ideas…support…

Hmmm…a lot to contemplate this morning…right after I ask…Bertha…why she doesn’t help with the dishes…

Jane

One Trick Pony…

You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want. ~ Zig Ziglar

I just love when…Bertha…can’t directly get my attention…she starts sending me messages in other ways…usually…multiple times…and so it was with the above quote…first I saw it on Facebook…and it reminded me of my friend who is always doing so much to help others…so I shared it on her page…but…evidently…it was meant for me as well…because it showed up the next morning in a blog that I subscribe to…

This one is a bit hard for me…not that I don’t enjoy helping other people…I love that…it’s just…when do I have the time to do what I need to do…if I’m spending it helping others…

Bertha…says…not to worry…Zig doesn’t say that I have to do it all…alone…take care of myself and everyone else…the implication…is that when I am giving to others…that things will flow back to me…either by someone else helping me…or…that they’ll just go easier…being in the right place at the right time kind of thing…

The trick is…to allow that help to come to me…that’s not easy for me…Mama says that at two I stomped my foot and said…NO! I’ll do it myself…and…I guess I haven’t changed that much over the years…somehow thinking that in doing it…myself…I was somehow proving I was a strong person…letting go of that stubborn independence…is tough for me…but…just for today…I’m going to try…

Jane