Circumstantial Forgiveness…

Bertha…is urging me to forgive any unpleasant circumstances in my life Jane Carrolltoday…those circumstances…where there’s really no one to blame…but…things just aren’t going the way I want them to…and…I feel the need to blame someone…anyway…

Okay…I don’t have to dig too deep…to find a couple of examples…past and present…but…I’m not exactly sure how to forgive a circumstance

She says that I begin by forgiving myself…reminding me that I am the common denominator in all of them…so…I forgive my part in the situation… she says that may look like…resistance…guilt…shame…blame …victimhood… whatever the feelings that I am having…connected with the situation…

Then…she says…I should let go of the…need…for things to be different…and just accept what they are…while keeping my sights set on where I want to go from here…

She says it’s like going on a trip…I may not enjoy all of the scenery along the way…but…I don’t get frustrated because I know these places are only temporary…and…if I just keep following the map…I’ll arrive at my destination in no time…

Then…she brings up the alternative…forty years…wandering the desert

Hmmm…forgiveness sounds much better than…wandering…

Jane

All Dressed Up…

I was talking with a friend last night about the size of our…cities…well at least for her…at only 3K…mine is a town…and a small one at that…which brought up memories of going to Birmingham as a child…

With over 200K…Birmingham is definitely the largest city in Alabama…and was quite a trip in the day…

First of all…there wasn’t an interstate…at least not for the whole way…so it took much longer than the 90 minutes it takes me today…but…time in the car wasn’t the main thing…it was the excitement of going to the old downtown area…with its large department stores…complete with escalators and cafeterias…it was a big deal…we wore our Sunday best…

I remember one trip…wearing my Easter dress…and red patent leather shoes…of course there were ruffled socks…no outfit would be complete without them…

Fast forward ten years…I moved to Birmingham for college…well…you can imagine as a college student in the 70’s…I wasn’t in my Sunday best…not even on Sunday…

Then…I stayed there…for several years…and…of course…I didn’t stay dressed to the hilt at all times…I ran to the store without makeup…dressed in whatever I had on…when I needed to…just like I do here…I dressed up when I needed to…just like I do here…

Life really wasn’t much different living there than it is here…not on a daily basis anyway…I got up…went to work…came home…went to bed…then got up and did it all again the next day…

Birmingham…for all its big buildings and traffic…really wasn’t so different…after all…

Bertha…points out that is same in my life…I used to think that some…dreams…that I had…would make my life be so different…when I had that job…that relationship…that bestselling book…that speaking engagement…I’d be a different person…I’d be in my metaphoric Easter dress…

When…in reality…I’ve accomplished those things…each and every one of them…and…I still run to the store without makeup when I need to…circumstances…didn’t really change the person that I am…

And…I kind of like it that way…

Jane