Circumstantial Forgiveness…

Bertha…is urging me to forgive any unpleasant circumstances in my life Jane Carrolltoday…those circumstances…where there’s really no one to blame…but…things just aren’t going the way I want them to…and…I feel the need to blame someone…anyway…

Okay…I don’t have to dig too deep…to find a couple of examples…past and present…but…I’m not exactly sure how to forgive a circumstance

She says that I begin by forgiving myself…reminding me that I am the common denominator in all of them…so…I forgive my part in the situation… she says that may look like…resistance…guilt…shame…blame …victimhood… whatever the feelings that I am having…connected with the situation…

Then…she says…I should let go of the…need…for things to be different…and just accept what they are…while keeping my sights set on where I want to go from here…

She says it’s like going on a trip…I may not enjoy all of the scenery along the way…but…I don’t get frustrated because I know these places are only temporary…and…if I just keep following the map…I’ll arrive at my destination in no time…

Then…she brings up the alternative…forty years…wandering the desert

Hmmm…forgiveness sounds much better than…wandering…

Jane

Getting Started…

Earlier in the week…Bertha…was whisper-shouting to me about forgiveness… honestly…I wasn’t sure who or what she was talking about…Jane Carrolluntil this morning…I awoke from a dream…about a former boss…one whom I felt had been totally unfair to me

We were walking down a hallway together…and…he reached down and took my hand…not in a romantic way…but in a way to let me know…it was time to forgive him…and…the entire situation of that job…

And…it’s true…it is time…it’s been many years…and yet…I have harbored resentment all this time…not to the point that it kept me from functioning… and I certainly haven’t been plotting my revenge…but…it was there… giving me a little twang every time it crossed my mind…

So…today…I spent some time in the contemplation chair…consciously… forgiving him and the situation…

I may not be finished…but it sure feels good to start…

Jane