Freak Out…

I’m a control freak…I’ve tried to be a recovering control freak…but…so far…I’m still in full blown control mode…

I’m not sure why…I want to be spontaneous…I want to be carefree…I want to be…Bertha…but…I’m not…there are just too many details floating around…that I feel the need to wrestle to the ground…

I want to wake up on Saturday morning…and decide to go out of town…or do something totally fun…without worrying about…when the laundry will be done…or the groceries bought…

Funny…I think I used to be that person…at least a lot more than I am now…so…what happened…what turned me into the micromanager of the century…

Bertha…jumps in…the one thing I can’t control…her mouth…she says…it’s all about…

Trust

I have to admit…I didn’t see that one coming…but…she explains…over the years…I quit trusting that other people…could…would…do what they were supposed to…

But…I argue…that’s because…they…DON’T

The next thing she said…kind of bugged me…maybe that’s because I don’t give them the time and space that they need to do itmaybe it’s because…I demand that they do it…my way…and…not theirs

I hate it when…she’s right…

She also says…that…it’s about…a skewed sense of…

Responsibility

That…somehow…I mistakenly came up with the idea…that…it was my responsibility…to make everything run smoothly…to make everyone happy…

She assures me…that’s way above my pay scale

Then…she added one more thing…it’s about…

Belief

About my belief…that…it’s not okay…to just relax and have fun…because…if I do…something bad will happen…she says…that’s probably because…at some point in my past…I was relaxing and having fun…and…something bad did happen…but…she assures me…that…bad things just happen from time to time…and…it just happened to coincide with me being relaxed and having a good time…it wasn’t a punishment…

Hmmm…lots to contemplate…

Jane

 

Curses…Foiled Again…

Don’t be alarmed…the danger is over…for now…but…it seems that there was a kidnapping attempt yesterday afternoon…that’s right…someone…attempted to break into my website…at first…I was puzzled…why would anyone want to do that…what is in my website…that they could want…and…then…I realized…the only possible explanation…was…they wanted to kidnap…Bertha

What they didn’t realize…is…that while I usually appreciate her wit and wisdom…there are times…though…not that often…when I would gladly give her to them…times…when I would like to just live my life…making my mistakes…without…Bertha…bouncing around in my head…giving me advice…pointing out the lesson in what I’m observing…and…overall being a Pollyanna nuisance…

So…then…my mind wandered…back in time…to the story…The Ransom of Red Chief…you may remember it…kidnappers abducted a rich kid…who…totally terrorized them…until…they took him back…and…I’m not sure…they may have actually paid his parents to take him…

Which…then made me think of what would have happened…if the hackers had successfully nabbed…Bertha…what things would she have said to them…what lessons would she have pointed out…what positive missives would she have spewed…would she have changed their lives…as much as she has mine…or…how soon would they have hacked in again…and returned her…

But…thankfully…alas…I don’t have to worry about that today…they didn’t get in…Bertha…is safe…right here with me…telling me…that the reason they didn’t get in…was…because she was right there hitting them with a high-heel sandal…at every attempt…

But…she says…there is a lesson for me…I should have seen it comingis it too late to give her to the hacker…yes…okay…I’m listening…and…the lesson is that…something doesn’t have to be of great financial value…to be stolen…sometimes…for some people…there just needs to be opportunity…and…it’s best…not to provide the opportunity…

And…while she’s not an alarmist by any means…she is all for acting responsibly…that’s why…our web designer Rebbekah…had a system in place…that prevented them from getting in…they got bored…and went elsewhere…

Bertha…went shopping after the incident…something about needing a new pair of shoes…

Jane