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I got an envelope in the mail yesterday…from Vista print…I need some new business cards…I opened it…there was a beautiful picture of a couple sitting on the beach…with the caption…creating your perfect wedding invites should feel this easy…and…the entire contents had to do with wedding invitations…

I was ecstatic…they must know something that I didn’t…I didn’t realize I was getting married…in fact…I didn’t realize that I was seeing anyone…in fact…I didn’t realize I’d even been looking…hmmm…

I’m always looking for a sign…maybe this was it…I was just about to do a happy dance…when…Bertha…took the card out of my hand…and smacked me on the head with it…before placing it carefully in a file…file thirteen…that is…

She then pointed out…the rest of the mail…from…a septic tank cleaning service…which I don’t have…a special on carpet cleaning…which I thankfully don’t have

She reminded me…that everything isn’t a sign…sometimes…it’s just mass marketing…gone awry…

I hate when…Miss Polly Sunshine…puts a raincloud over my wedding reception…so…I pulled the faux invitation out of the garbage…it’s dated for May 25, 2013…hmmm…I’ve got a year…to find a man…a septic tank…and…install some carpet…hey…I might can do it…if I start right now…

Jane